Let’s be real. Finding the right therapist is a lot like dating. You might have to meet a few before you find the one you actually click with. And just like dating, it can be awkward, disappointing, and even discouraging when it doesn’t work out right away. But when you do find the right fit, it changes everything.
Therapy is a relationship. It’s built on trust, honesty, and safety. You’re opening up about your most personal thoughts, your trauma, your fears, your truth. That’s not something you can do with just anyone. You need someone who gets you, someone whose style, energy, and understanding make you feel comfortable enough to be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.
You might connect with a therapist who challenges you. You might need someone who listens quietly and lets you process. Or maybe you need someone direct and transparent who tells it like it is. None of these are wrong. It’s about what you need in this season of your life.
Too often people give up on therapy after one bad experience. But imagine if you swore off dating forever after one bad first date. Not every therapist will be your person, and that’s okay. You’re not “difficult.” You’re discerning. Therapy works best when there’s a real connection, not just a credential.
Here’s what to remember when “dating” for the right therapist:
Ask questions. You have the right to know their experience, approach, and comfort working with issues that matter to you.
Trust your gut. If something feels off, listen to that. You don’t owe anyone continued sessions if you don’t feel safe or seen.
Give it time. Sometimes it takes a few sessions to settle in. Don’t expect instant magic. Connection grows with consistency.
Know what you need. Do you want homework, structure, faith integration, or someone who understands your lived experiences? Clarity helps you find alignment.
The right therapist won’t fix your life overnight. But they’ll walk with you through it. They’ll challenge you, support you, and help you grow into the version of yourself you’ve been trying to reach.
Finding that person might take a few tries. That’s okay. Healing isn’t about getting lucky, it’s about finding alignment. And sometimes, that starts with a first date.